So, to catch up, a few weeks back i spent a solid day out at the farm in a futile attempt to keep the goats from re enacting The Great Escape, and picked up a paralysis tick. I got it out ok, but the next day there was a fair bit of swelling and redness near the bite. I've had plenty of tick bites in my time, usually without much of a reaction, so i didn't think much of it and headed off for a shift at the servo.
By the end of the shift my whole upper leg was bright red and causing considerable pain, so i made a beeline for the local hospital, expecting to get a dose of antiserum. Instead the duty nurse sat me down and told me i had a golden staph infection! And what's more, it was advanced enough to require an IV of antibiotics.
On the plus side, rather than spending 24 hours in the hospital, they were able to hook me up with a portable IV in a bum bag and send me home.
And yes i was very happy to get a band aid with teddy bears on it.
The slight hiccup there is that i had commuted on the motorbike (i was hardly expecting Alien vs Predator to break out in my leg), so i had to enlist the assistance of one of the nurses to put my helmet and jacket on before riding home. Yep, riding a motorbike with an IV. This doesn't happen to normal people.
The IV arrangement wasn't overly cumbersome, meaning i was able to help with Winnie in a limited way (oh i'm so sorry darling, i'd love to help with the nappy change but you know..). We also got to learn about the "Hospital in the Home" initiative, whereby they keep freaks like me from clogging up the hospital by sending a registered nurse round each day to check on things. And not a single cent charged anywhere along the way, our healthcare system is truly marvellous.
So i was well on the road to recovery, and a few days after the hospital visit i got up in the middle of the night for a drink. I felt a little out of sorts, and next thing i knew there was a huge crash and i woke up on my back on the kitchen floor. The huge crash was courtesy of the oven door...
Stef was out within seconds (as you would be) and after an ambulance ride and a few hours of poking and prodding in the hospital, the verdict was "meh, you just fainted".
Like i said, this doesn't happen to normal people.
And then a few days after the drip came out, i jabbed my finger on some rusty wire and THAT got infected, so it was off to the GP for more antibiotics.
This should have been very straightforward, doc looks at the puffed up finger and writes a script, i go to the pharmacy to get it and then i ride off into the sunset. Well the first two steps went fine, but then i forgot to take the U lock off the front wheel of the motorbike before leaving...
Luckily there was no damage to the XT, but the lock (a Reid Cycles branded item i found on roadside collection still in the original packaging) had twisted just enough that it couldn't be unlocked. I had a think, rang Stef, and got a lift to the pool shop to borrow the cordless angle grinder, and then there i was, metres from a shopping centre entrance, attacking the front wheel of a motorbike with a grinder and thinking to myself-
THIS DOESN'T HAPPEN TO NORMAL PEOPLE!!
But hey, i'm still here :-).